Pick your real excuse below to generate two simultaneous Out-of-Office / Slack status messages: (1) the unfiltered Gen Z Group-Chat version, and (2) the Polite Executive HR-Safe version.
“Bestie, my last two brain cells are officially cooked after this week’s meetings, no cap. I am logging off to touch grass before I crash out. If it’s urgent, you’re delulu 💀”
— Your Co-Worker
“Thank you for your message. I am currently away from my desk disconnecting and recharging with limited access to email. For urgent matters, please contact the team lead; otherwise I will circle back upon my return.”
— Your Co-Worker
Slang expressions decoded in this status
cooked
In serious trouble, exhausted, defeated, or beyond an easy fix. “Am I cooked?” asks whether the situation is hopeless.
no cap
“Honestly,” “for real,” or “I am not exaggerating.” Cap means a lie or an exaggeration in this slang context.
touch grass
Step away from the internet and regain some real-world perspective. Often a dismissive response to an overly online argument.
crash out
To lose control in anger or act recklessly with serious consequences; separately, to fall asleep from exhaustion, fail or be eliminated.
delulu
An exaggerated, informal version of “delusional”: unrealistically hopeful, imagining a connection, or choosing confidence over the available evidence.